By Stephen Best
I am alarmed at the number of people I know who where once active in the local church who have simply quit. I know that we the church should be concentrating on the lost, but there appears to be a hole in our bucket. While we seek to be outgoing and gathering the lost, water is dripping out of our bucket at a steady rate and no one can seem to plug it.
Recent statistics support my alarm by indicating that over 3 million people in North America annually leave the church, not to return. These departures lead to over 4,000 church closures each year in comparison to 1,000 new church starts. These figures are disturbing when we include our aging population. If that isn’t enough, over 1,500 pastors leave the ministry each month due to moral failure, burnout or agonizing political conflict in the church.
The numbers alone suggest that the system (church as we know it) is broken, and if we were straightforward with ourselves, we would say, “Something has got to change”. Compounding the problem are three fixed mind-sets: the fondness for the status quo, the watery attempts to modernize the church, and the ‘who-needs-church’ cavalier attitude. None of which is helping the situation.
Before we go further we need to identify quitting church. Quitting means more than giving up church meetings. It also implies holding back from giving to the Lord, withdrawing spiritual gifts that build the body of Christ, neglecting to break bread, and giving up being our brother’s keeper. While some of these functions might in some form continue, for the most part they eventually fade away.
Quitting church has huge implications for both the church and the now de-churched. Jesus said that he would build his church and that it would overcome the powers of hell. In other words the church has an integral role in God’s overall plan. In order for it to fulfill that role it must work and stay together. Each loss hurts, as does every defection.
According to researchers, there are several clear reasons why people are quitting church and I will condense them into five related categories for convenience sake. They are listed from the most to the least most common reason.
- Life changes:
Top on the list of why people quit church are life changes. Life changes are those things that sneak into everyday living, only to eventually steal first place. They involve reasons such as wanting to spend more time with family and friends, changes at work, moving to a new area, and life just being too busy. By the same token unexpected sickness, death, and divorce are upsets in life that in time also sway people to retreat from the church.
Most of us can relate to the pressures of a family crisis, and just not having enough time in a busy and complex world. Yet it’s ironic that in the very things where we need to draw on encouragement from the body of Christ, is also the potential for us to quit the body of Christ.
Jesus was aware of this when he said, ‘The seed that fell among the thorns represents those who hear God’s word, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the worries of this life and the lure of wealth, so no fruit is produced,’ Mt. 13:22. He knew that we would experience difficulties and that time would be scarce, but he did not want these concerns to dominate our thinking and actions.
- Disappointment With The Church:
While being disappointed with the church is a broad and subjective reason, it is on the other hand very real to the frustrated and disillusioned. For them it’s enough to quit church.
Commonly with the disappointed is a vocal frustration over the lack of relevant and sincere preaching. Yet it is unclear as to what is relevant and sincere. For example some people find that basic Bible teaching is scarce, whereas others seek something less challenging and more individually uplifting and social. Although both sides are unified in their disappointment they are opposites in their desires. Can you imagine them in the same congregation?
Keeping with the idea of hearing good preaching, it seems the disappointed have less concern with the preacher’s morality, and are more concerned about what they are hearing. Research shows that the disappointed are more ready to accept a divorced, unfaithful, and ostentatious preacher than an unrelated message.
Disappointment is further felt when people’s prayers go unanswered or when the church fails to meet their expectations, or even yet when the church demands too much from them. Here is where many will say they need a break from church, and in a roundabout way, a break from God.
While many wouldn’t want to admit their disappointment with God, they will however freely express their disappointment in other believers, and in a church system that has apparently failed them. This is especially true when more believers want their personal needs met, while wanting less involvement with the church.
Adding to these disappointments is the uncomfortable feeling of creepiness. At times the church seems odd. It might be the partially bearded lady on the organ, or the touchy-feely guy who is greeting at the door. It could be the trembling person shouting “AMEN” or the bass player wearing jean-shorts that’s simply creeping people out. Regardless of the person or the situation, people are unprepared for things that make them uncomfortable. Most church people want normal people like them.
While I have never seen people swinging from the chandeliers, I have seen things in the name of spirituality that are weird and embarrassing. Yet, I have also seen creepiness among the so-called normal church people as well. Eventually, whether it is extremism or ultra-conservatism, it takes its toll on some believers and eventually they quit.
Jesus spat on people and talked about drinking his blood. Is it possible that we might find him a bit odd?
- Frustrated With Christians
Research statistics further say people quit church because they are frustrated with other believers, and with the church’s hypocritical and disapproving attitude. People reported being hurt or offended, and believed the church (the system or various individuals) to be judgmental.
The research implies that the church has been unsuccessful in applying the love of Christ that keeps no record of wrongs, which always looks for the best, and never gives up. When there is no scarcity of grace and forgiveness in Christ’s kingdom, God’s people are coming up short.
Apparently Christians have a strong opinion of what they expect in and from others, and those opinions all differ form each other. What another Christian or group of Christians thinks, says, or does has the explosive potential to really tick people off.
Let’s be clear here, believers are quitting church because in their opinion, their perseverance, forgiveness, mercy, patience, and yielding to others are no longer worth the effort. They are losing faith that the love of Christ can change them or those whom they are leaving behind.
- Not Christians
The fourth most common reason why people quit church is that they no longer believe. While the statistics are vague, they do show that 25% of those who quit church also have a change in beliefs or have lost interest in religion.
Some people were uncertain with their faith in the first place, and some unbelieving people were assumed into the church. Some simply grew up in the church without believing. These are more reasons why people quit church. Regardless, it suggests that the church (God’s people) is not winning those within its immediate area of influence. Having said that, it proves that we have to pick up our game in sharing our faith with friends and family.
- Church Is Run By A Clique
Some who quit church say that it is being driven by a select few. The few could be the old guard, family, friends or the familiar favorites, and they seem to have all the sway and biggest effect.
While this is a common complaint in churches, it is not unusual for 20% of the people to do 80% of the work. This is not necessarily out of choice but rather out of default. This lopsided ratio automatically puts the responsibility of the church in the hands of the few who are doing the work. Regardless, it takes every member functioning to have a healthy church.
On the other hand there are exceptions where a select few purposefully control the church. Unhealthy ambition and greed, and a disregard for New Testament teaching are usually at the centre of the control. However this is not the church.
Fixing The Bucket
Having been in the church for over fifty years and having been in leadership for over thirty, it would be naïve not to recognize that the cause of quitting church rests with both those in the church and those de-churched. Furthermore neither sticking our heads in the sand or quitting church make things any better.
The church is a shadow of what Christ intended for his world plan. It has de-evolved from serving the purposes of God, to trying to please mankind. With that it has compromised its first love.
Equally God’s people have desired a system that serves their needs and indulges their appetite for religion and amusement. If it were not so, the churched and de-churched would have died to selfishness and division, and in turn worked harder to keep the unity of the body of Christ.
The simplest remedy might be to say “Let’s be friendlier, happier, and do exciting things”. Let’s find some nicer greeters and more contemporary music. Yet this is only a bandage.
The church must realize that it has a leaky bucket, and is in need of some genuine Holy Spirit inspiration, initiation, and renovation. Even though it might seem unoriginal or clichéd, the church must get back to basics. Too many bad decisions and reactions have been made on people’s whims, perceptions and personal interpretations of what the church should be. It’s time we find an upper room and lock the door until we all hear from God and are changed.
God will not abandon his plan for the church. He is going to use the church, and it is up to us to find ourselves in it or watching it. We can discover ourselves in something new, refreshing, and relevant if we get back to basics. The basics are simple:
Ø Realize there is a serious problem
Ø The problem begins with me, the individual
Ø Shake off the dust, humble ourselves, and pray endlessly
Ø Get reliable and applicable New Testament instruction
Ø Generously give to the Lord our worship, tithes, and energy
Ø Earnestly encourage, strengthen, and serve other believers by frequently getting together
Ø Let the Holy Spirit lead, and produce his fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, self-control, etc.
Ø Willingly forgive and forgive again, and show mercy and more mercy
Ø Stand firm against the devil’s schemes
Ø Freely share the love of Christ with everyone
Ø Believe God
Ø Be ready for something different!
References:
Why People Leave and How To Bring Them Back
by Thom S Rainer & Sam S Rainer
http://www.churchleaders.com/outreach-missions/outreach-missions-articles/138855-coming-home-why-people-leave-the-church-and-how-to-bring-them-back.html
Statistics and Reasons for Church Decline
by Dr. Richar Krejcir
http://www.intothyword.org/articles_view.asp?articleid=36557
Top 10 Reasons People Quit Church
by Steve Murrell
http://everynation.wordpress.com/2008/07/23/top-10-reasons-people-quit-church/
Quitting Church: Why the Faithful are Fleeing and What to Do About It
by Julia Duin
